My mom either knows too much or the joke is on her.
Me whenever i try not to swear.
my favorite people are the ones that stop at traffic lights with their windows rolled down with their music blaring and theyre sitting in their cars dancing and they couldnt give a fuck cause damn straight its a party
My grandpa has Alzheimer’s so he has no idea who my grandma is but everyday for the last three or four months he brings her in flowers from their garden and asks her to run away with him and be his wife and everyday she says she already is and everyday the smile my grandpa gets on his face is the most beautiful heartfelt thing I have ever seen.
They call me coffee cuz I grind so fine
They call me coffee I keep you up past 2 am
They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am
Harold likes to help me with my homework. And yes that is a diaper we made to make sure he doesn’t pee everywhere when we let him roam the house..don’t judge.
TORTOISE IN A DIAPER.
|—||Sophia Amoruso, #GIRLBOSS (via simply-quotes)|